Balance in Healing

A year ago I had a sense that a huge paradigm shift was coming in my life, so I started focusing on what I needed to do to live my happiest and healthiest, best life. In September I was laid off after 14 years with an organization. I was the VP of Programs at a nationally accredited natural science museum. Those 14 years had their ups and downs, as most jobs do. I relished in the joys of teaching kids ecology, and outdoor exploration, while also watching them develop into good stewards of nature. I lived and breathed the mission of that organization with a passion for education, community service, preservation and conservation; for that I am grateful to have served those years. With most jobs, there are positives and negatives. My position was no different. A combination of contradictions and mismatched communication alerted me that a change was necessary for my own wellbeing. In the end, my moral compass was spiraling and I was not in a happy place. Covid ran its course on our local tourism economy and by September, 2020 I was laid off.

The loss of my job was one of what I refer to as the trifecta of events that resulted in the biggest paradigm shift of my life. About a week following my lay off, the relationship I’d been in for most of the year ended. A week following that, a dear friend committed suicide. Within 14 days, my world as I knew it was changed and would be changed forever. How I chose to handle that change was up to me, and while I knew that, I felt completely out of control.

Being in a career for 14 years is kind of like being married. Honestly it was for me. The strange thing though is that much like my divorce 3 years prior, I wasn’t entirely rattled by it. I think because in the end, I knew it was no longer serving the better of me, and therefor prohibiting me from being my best for others. It took a few months of licking my wounds, feeling despondent, getting an amazing therapist, and embracing the incredible friendships that supported me in ways I can only describe as sent from God, herself! I spent a lot of time near the sea. For me, it is my sage, my respite, my mother and father all in one. The sea brings comfort to me in ways nothing else does and affords me the shred of hope needed to keep perseverance in motion. 3 months later I came to the conclusion that I needed to look at myself long and hard and identify those faults that brought me to this place. What were my contributions to mismatched communication styles in my career? What were my contributions to a failed romantic relationship? And what do I do once I’ve identified these things?

The one thing I learned the most in healing is that sometimes digging deeper into the wound allows all the yuck to come out so that true healing may begin. Self-reflection does not come easy for some. It’s bold, it’s raw, and it is honest, but it is the only way one can truly heal from the occasional shit storms life blows your way. Learning to accept all of who I am and set intention for the things I wish to work on was the next step. I’ve discovered that the recipe to being happy is balance. Life is like a big pie chart and there is only a tiny piece for the things which do not serve us. In a perfect world the whole pie would serve us, but the reality is life does have its stressors. They key is: mitigating those stressors and creating a balance of the things that bring joy.

Carve away the parts that don’t serve you well. If your unable to eliminate them from your life completely, perhaps make an effort to look at them through a different lens. For every piece of the pie that does not serve you, add two things that do. The more we focus on what allows us to heal and not what pains us, the more we heal- plain and simple. Get out there and catch those things that bring you joy and live life well!