Cultivating Connections through Creativity

In my years of studying cultural anthropology, and subsequent travel around the globe observing and working within many cultures, I’ve recognized the common thread that we as humans share. We crave a connection to others. Regardless of if you are an introvert or an extrovert, the human condition is hard wired to be a part of a group. From infancy we understand communication cues from parental figures and we desire recognition and acceptance at a very early age. Throughout life, the need for healthy relationships is not only desired, it is necessary in maintaining overall wellness in mind and body.

Relationships come in all sorts of packages and whether they are with co-workers, friends, lovers, spouses, or other family members, establishing a healthy balance of support within them is critical. Spend time with people who inspire you and who make you feel good about you. Avoid people who are negative, particularly those who talk negatively about others frequently. Face it, these people pull good energy away and fill the space with bad. Try cooking a meal with others and sharing ideas. Food and cooking are great conduits for positive creative action.

Years ago, when I was an ex-pat on a tiny island called Jeju-do in South Korea, I hosted a weekly event at my apartment. We called the event FART (Fantastic Artistic Recreational Time), and yes, I do love a good comedic play on words. I’ll get to FART later, but first I should explain why it was born in the first place. The event was inspired by an evening I had in Seoul after a photography installation where I had shown some of my work. After the show a bunch of fellow artists and friends all met up at a restaurant across the city. As the night when on, many of us splintered off with other people and by 4 a.m. I found myself hanging out with a documentary film-making friend and 15 other people at a galbi (Korean barbeque), restaurant near the subway station in Itaewon. We had all met up somehow throughout the night and decided to get galbi to kill time before the subway opened up.

While sharing a meal with this unique group of people whom I’d just met that night, I realized that there were 5 languages being spoken at the table. There were people speaking Korean, German, English, Japanese, and French, and though not everyone of us spoke every one of those languages, we somehow had no trouble communicating. Food can be a conduit of comfortable communication even in the most seemingly uncommunicative of times. If you’ve ever been to a galbi restaurant, you know that there is nothing personal about the way one eats this dish. Beef is grilled in the middle of the table with various people turning it. Lots of talking, passing of side dishes, drinking of soju, and eating occurs. It is loud, participatory, and fun! Over this meal I made many connections and plans for future collaborative projects. The one thing I took from that night was that I wanted to replay it over and over again in different settings and with different players. It was kind of like a gamble to see what the creative outcomes might be depending on the people involved. I just knew that food, drink, creative expression, and people were the key ingredients.

The idea of FART was to allow for a creative space where individuals could express their art. There were musicians, painters, writers, and people who simply brought a sketchbook. I always made banana pancakes, as the event would start around 10 a.m., and go on throughout the day with people coming and going. When I launched FART, it started with people in my ex-pat community on the island, but as the weeks went on, it grew into more Korean folks, then eventually Korean and ex-pats from the mainland coming to fill a creative space in my tiny apartment. What I loved about FART was the sense of creative community it brought to all of us. We were people from all over the world in this tiny space being collectively creative.

It’s important to recognize the value of every relationship in your life and how those people make you feel. For those that bring negativity, let them go. In cases of workplace toxicity, minimize the time you spend with those who bring negativity to the table. The good news is: you’re not being paid to make friends, and you don’t have to maintain friendships with people you know are toxic. Instead, invest in quality time with quality people and doing quality things that bring you joy. Life is for living and living your best and happiest will serve you far better when supportive relationships surround you.