On Freedom & Limitation

Over the past few months, I have thought a lot about freedom. Through conversations with combat veterans to interactions with small children, and even those at end of life, the idea of freedom has been central to a concept that has been looming in life for a very long time. Two months ago, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. This is the second time, though the first was six years ago so I assumed I was in the clear with healthy annual checkups. Not this time. Thankfully after surgery, I was blessed to learn that my margins were clear and all had been cut away. The night I came home from the hospital I felt the need to read The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, a book that I have read many times since my early teen years. The passage on reason and passion stood out so strong to me in that read that I had to make a social media post about it. It resonated in so many parts of my life at the time. The idea that reason alone is confining seems to be a reminder we all need to hear. So often we are caught in our own thoughts. I cannot count the number of times in the past year I or friends have spoken the words, “Get out of your own head.”  The innate reaction of humans to go inward and attempt to self-reason situations pertaining to others is destructive, when true solutions involve communication. Likewise, when we attempt to reason with our own freedom of being, we sometimes go down the path of limitation.

Freedom of self is tricky for many of us. So many find it limiting to do the things that they as individuals want to do. Some feel guilt in wanting to separate from loved ones and take a self-defining adventure; some feel time does not allow for experiences outside of work and caring for the assets. This is where I say, let us redefine time and assets. Time is limited, that is one thing worth recognizing, and assets are not limited to the tangible things that money buys. In fact, I argue that our greatest asset in life is joy. Affording ourselves the freedom of joy is a task that many have trouble achieving merely because they have mapped a course of thoughts that limit their abilities. Some call it “analysis paralysis.” I call it something else that I am hoping to launch into a podcast. Nevertheless, the limitations we place on ourselves can shift the course of our joy in life, and subsequently introduce a myriad of health problems, toxic relationships, and things that do not serve our well-being.

Yesterday I met a powerful woman who said, “Take a moment and say no to something and for each no you say, say yes to three other things.” The exercise is to allow yourself the opportunity to cut away a thing that is not good for you and in its place, invite three new or existing things that have been neglected in the existence of that no.  That “chuck-it” idea is something that no longer serves you. It represents those limiting beliefs, toxic relationships, and anything that restricts your joy. Perhaps it is time with loved ones that requires attention, and not just time in the same space, but meaningful time. Again, time is limited and those moments shared are of irreplaceable value. Perhaps your yes is marking something off that “bucket list.” I understand that for so many the toxicity of the workplace brings limitations. There is truth in a job bringing toxicity to us, yet we feel trapped because we must earn a living. In this case, maybe a shift in mindset is in order. How can the view of this limitation be shifted by perspective? This is the mind trick of analysis paralysis. Is it possible to turn the tables on the things that we are forced to endure? I think so, but that is another blog. If you can include that toxic workplace in your “chuck it list”, then do it. You are worth more than a paycheck that eats your soul and steals your joy. Time is fleeting, so get out there and fill your time with meaningful moments that bring you and others joy; and let your confining thoughts rest!